9:44 AM
It's sunny.
I'm still pretty sick..

4:53 PM
After running around town I get home and there is a new toy waiting for me...



9:51 PM
Just got in from having a tasty Thai dinner. Duck curry for me. I was trying to avoid too much sugar in Thai iced tea but the waitress was so charming that I graciously accepted another glass. Then it was time for coconut ice cream....


Good god I'm full but it was so worth it.

I have to be up early to go to Merced and have a workout with Sifu and the girls. It should be fun but I just left Merced; not looking forward to going back! No late night New Year for me but what else is new. This night always seemed a little too weird for me. Monty Python and beer is the way I used to spend it and that still sounds appealing.

Here's a pair of adorable houses that I saw today by Haight...


At the moment I'm feeling pretty good. Hopefully I'll be better in the morning.

7:48 AM
The sky is clear. Finally a break. It's still cold though.
I had a dream that I was hanging out with the MMA crowd and that I was going to go against a crowd favorite, but we ended up getting along and hanging out with each other beforehand. We never got to the fight part...I woke up. I was looking for my workout clothes and someone (me?) shit all over my street clothes and the changing room.

9:41 AM
Sunning kitties...

Happy cactus...

10:00 AM
The sun is out and it's making me all horn-doggery....

11:59 PM
Did a bunch of running around. Had lunch at one of my favorite Thai restaurants on Clement. Went thrift-storing, looked for a clackamore which they tell me is being discontinued (!!!), etc. The ride home was freezing. Had a tasty Indian food delivery for dinner.

Random pics from today, from two murals on Mission...two murals in the same alley.

10:44 AM
It's grey and cold.
I'm still sick.
I seem to have had some intense dreams but I can't quite remember them.
Had naughty thoughts half the night.

9:07 AM
It's cold and grey. It's supposed to rain.
It doesn't feel like there is an end in sight for my cold. It's getting old.

So, on Dec. 23 my mom and step-dad came into the city to pick me up and have dinner with his family. We went to a fancy Italian restaurant by the Embarcadero. It was okay, not the best but certainly not the worst. Then we cruised into Martinez and spent a little time ay his brothers house.
On Christmas eve Dave and I went to see "I am Legend" with Will Smith and I really enjoyed it. The intensity never really let up, there was some tear jerking parts....I'd see it again. For lunch he treated me to Applebee's which isn't that great of a place. Then we ran around town and looked at all of the empty houses, which there is a bunch of. Opened presents that evening. My mom got me a fantastic book called "Weird California" and I really like it. I want to visit some of the spots so bad.
Christmas day was spent at my aunt's house in Modesto. Got to chat with my family that I literally see once a year now. My uncle is doing metal work that is being used in winery's, as far away as Spain! I think that is very cool.
By the day after Christmas I was ready to get the hell back to SF. E's mom drove us to Pleasanton and we took the BART in. I was so happy to be home. I don't like to spend too much time in the valley.

10:16 AM
Just remembered that I had a dream about that weird porn guy called Mr. 18inch......I don't know why.

7:23 PM
Goddamn it's cold!

7:53 PM
My pretty cactus...



11:15 PM
Took a trip to Berkeley this afternoon. Took the BART on out.

BART station


Then we farted around and went to an outlet store, the North Face I believe. Then stopped in for some super tasty chinese food. I think the fried rice was cooked in butter! It was wonderful.


Random Berkeley shots....




So, I'm acting like a teenage girl with my digital camera, but I can't help it.....

10:07 AM
A bit grey.
I'm still sick. I can't seem to get it out of my lungs.
It's wonderful to get a full nights sleep again.
I don't remember any dreams that I may have had.

10:06 PM
I updated almost 12 hours ago!!!
I bought a digital camera!!! YAY!!!I'm very excited.

10:03 PM
I'm so tired, and so glad to be back in the city. It was a long couple of days, and I was disappointed that I didn't get to write in my journal.

10:43 AM
It's sunny. I feel feverish. My cold or whatever it is has moved into my lungs and head.
Had a dream about getting ready to have sex with my "wife". whoever that was, who suddenly decided to tell me that she's going to have sex with some artist she read about in a magazine. So I was confused. Having more dreams like this. Had one the night before where E was going to get married but still wanted me to sleep in her bed. Weird.
I'm leaving the beautiful city to go to the horrible central valley tonight. I never felt at home there, I barely had friends....why would I want to be there when I could stay in a place where I feel welcome, have good friends. etc.? Damn I hate holidays.
When next I write I'll be in Merced.

10:11 AM
Sunny and cold
My back hurts and I feel a cold coming on. Probably trying to get out of Christmas.

3:42 PM
My insides, mainly stomach, are all jacked up. Blah.
Sylvia called and it's always nice to hear from her.
Still waiting for the girls to come visit...

10:02 PM
Ducks beat the Sharks, 5-2...yay!!!
Had a nice time with the girls. They had Sara with them, who I haven't seen in a long time. She's asked me to exhibit in the cafe where she works in Oakland. That'll be good. Coming up sometime early next year.
Tomorrow my family is coming to the city and I'll be heading back to the valley with them. Ugh.
Spent some time transferring my poems into another book.

9:32 AM
It's cold and partly cloudy.
I had a dream about cats and bears living together, or, rather, I was trying to get them to live together. They were pretty much all babies.

8:14 PM
This was created on a poetry generator, based on my DA site...


JimmyMcCullough on deviantART com ; kidkovdrop 3 days 10
hours ago Thank you `my photographs and
I the faves! m&#not good
at my friend!
my friend! my friend!
my website: [link] ~ 3
days 23 hours ago Thank you my Gallery *Random
Favourites Recent Watchers ~ ~kookoomonster ~roskamp ~
saira30 ~mightybearrr ~SnowFlurryCat * ~Culumon ~
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Watchers ~ ~kookoomonster ~3 days
1 hour ago
Thanks Dream with your eyes closed. ..........................................................................
Capitalism and Universe! *
Mystikka
3 days 16 hours
ago Thanks for the worldFavourite
genre of these, but they'
t want
no white man lookin' at any of favs! Oh for
a salesman and
another chance to provide
what 039;t
want no
items in Landscapes Scenery on 10/
2007, 3:days
1 day
13 hours ago the word, failure. What&#
Life and see with
your great gallery *Random Favourites
Recent Deviations My website: [http://rompidamedia.
blogspot.comEmail dr&#
111;m&#Current Age: 32Current
Residence: San FranciscoFavourite movie:
obscure genre films from
all the worldFavourite genre of
disease. *

11:19 PM
Drinking strong wine....yum.

10:29 AM
It's sunny and comfortable.
Again, I'm having trouble waking up. I think I was supposed to sleep in a bit more.
Had a dream about a computer that was only used in the rain, but it was stolen. I was very disappointed about it, especially that I wouldn't be able to write in this journal anymore.
I was up late researching sound poetry, trying to find inspiration for the upcoming show and recordings that I'm going to do with Mr. D. I still need to buy a mic and maybe something for delay.
Yesterday I started another new painting, this one called "Telephone Rock" after one of my favorite Sesame Street skits.

3:59 PM
Went out to Sushi Boat for lunch and had a relaxing time. The cute Chinese waitress was there.
Went out to Japantown, just to look around. Didn't buy anything but I almost came home with a couple of new knives. Surprisingly I decided not too...
Working on "Telephone Rock" but I'm a bit unmotivated. Worked a whole bunch yesterday.
Stefanie called while I was on the way to J-town...her and Amber will be here on Saturday. That could be fun.
My neuropathy is bugging me a bit.

6:25 PM
It's impossible to find books of sound poetry. I even went to Green Apple and they didn't seem to have any. But maybe I'm not sure what to look for.

10:58 PM
Had a good evening at the gym. That very attractive, and very buff, asian woman was there and she gave me a dirty look. HOT!!!

10:17 AM
It's partly cloudy. It's supposed to rain more.
Today is my official last day of class for the year. I'm not completely motivated to go in, but I'll live.
Had a dream with wild animals, tiger's and things of that sort. Also a bamboo jews harp.

1:13 PM
Just discovered that my cactus is flowering! It's very pretty.

11:12 PM
Had my last class. I had 14 kids, which is rare. It was a fun evening.
Just finished a bunch of South Park holiday episodes.

9:08 AM
It's pouring outside.
My mouth is really dry. Yuck.
Don't remember my dreams from last night.

11:01 PM
Ploo came over to take pics but I wasn't feeling up to it. But I enjoy kicking it with her.
Julia stopped by for a visit, and it was very pleasant.
My blood sugar got really high and it made my time at the gym difficult.
Just started a new painting that has one of my favorite Picasso bather's on it.
Finished a couple of other older paintings today.

9:49 AM
It's grey and a bit rainy. Since there was no sun coming straight in the window I was able to sleep in and I feel pretty refreshed.
So the agenda for today is trying to finish Mike Rowe, then head over to Berkeley to see "The Grey Gentlemen".I'm going to need to push myself.

3:11 PM
Just put the finishing touches on Mike Rowe and I'm quite pleased with it. Now to get it to Discovery.com before tomorrow.....

11:37 PM
Had a great time out in Berkeley. The band, The Grey Gentlemen, were great. Mr. D. looked like he was having a lot of fun up there, and he seemed to enjoy confusing the very small audience. I don't think there was ever more than 20 people in there at one time. But I had a great time. E. and I went, and Landon met us out there. I think he liked meeting Mr. D. Then Dorgon, E. and I all rode back to S.F. on the BART and BS'ed the whole time. It was a good night. I haven't been to Bezerkeley for ages.

7:50 PM
Had a great evening with friends, watched Turkish Star Wars, had a lot of laughs, etc. It was very good.

10:08 PM
I am very tired.

8:06 AM
Sunny and cold.
I'm really tired. i stayed up later than I should have and then I tossed and turned for a while. It's going to be hard getting through classes today. But, it is my final Saturday class....vacation soon!!!
Been up late reading/watching 9/11 stuff. I've no idea why I'm doing that.

9:58 AM
It's sunny.
Slept in again. I barely remember a dream I had, but I was on a bus and recognized a woman in the back as a performance artist...and her boobs were ginormous. On the wall was carved "I'm Alive". That's all that I can think of at the moment.
Need to work on the Mike Rowe portrait today. The contest deadline ends early next week.

11:14 PM
Worked on "Mike Rowe" after lunch, which I had in Japantown. Drank some Sake, which was pretty tasty, then hung around the J-town mall. I like what I've got painted.
Really wanted to buy a cool knife I saw at the cutlery shop.
Tomorrow is my last big MA class of the year....a small one Wednesday night, then I'm on vacation.

9:51 AM
Sunny
I just woke up. I was really tired when I finally went to bed, but I'm not crazy about sleeping in.
The plants in the living room look really happy. They're very alert.

11:00 PM
Finally was able to make it to the gym. It's been close to two weeks. Pushed it a bit, but it was good.
Made a tasty curry dinner.
For lunch Ploo treated me to Japanese and I ate a cooked pregnant fish. I could have tolerated it but when she told me it was pregnant I really lost interest. I finished mine...I let her eat the other two.
Started my portrait of Mike Rowe.

8:44 AM
It's grey and cold.
My arms a sore, probably from all the hard and fast Jew's Harp playing yesterday.
This is my 100th journal entry.

11:16 PM
Signed two paintings this afternoon. It's nice to have them done.
Had a good class this evening. I have a great new student named Nancy. She's all of seven and is very enthusiastic. Trying to make friends with a little boy in a stroller who seems to be scared of my class. He's scared of the loud noise that a stick makes. But he's waving at me and trying to smile. He's a very cute little guy.
It's really cold.

8:51 AM
It's sunny and slightly breezy.
Since last night I have had a bad stomach ache going on. It's very uncomfortable.

5:27 PM
It's essentially a lost day. My stomach still has a slight ache to it, didn't get any work done on anything...just played the jaw harp a bit, but that's basically about all. Did read a lot of the Ueshiba Morihei biography.

8:57 AM
It's a beautiful, sunny morning.

I had a weird dream about my old theatre days, but everyone was mad at me. Kevin, Fred, everyone. It seems I walked through a performance that some special "Grand Dame" was watching, when I thought it was just a rehearsal. Oh well.......snooty theatre folk!

11:33 PM
Spent the day with Landon, visiting galleries, meeting a nice woman that works at two galleries, etc. It could be an opportunity for me to show. That could be a very good thing.

10:17 AM
Sunny and cold.
Been up and down several times, trying to wake up, then start reading, only to get tired again. But I think I'm finally up for the day now.

10:39 PM
Yesterday was very busy. Started off by teaching my regular Saturday classes and got pretty angry at several students. A lot of them were acting like idiots and wouldn't stop, even a couple in the adult class. So I left there pretty annoyed. Then I was treated to a late, tasty lunch at a chinese restaurant on Clement, but I can't remember what it was called...thank you Ploo for covering me. Afterword I came home and relaxed a bit before I went and met T. and L. on Haight street and, as usual, I hated Haight street. Too much negative energy over there, and I don't think it's healthy negativity, this is just a street filled with people looking to start shit with anyone for any reason. So I talked them into leaving and we came and hung out here before going to Little Tokyo to eat. Then we came back here and I had to have some pictures taken, something I don't like to do...taking good pics is hard! So by the time we were done with that it was time for them to leave so I escorted them downtown to a BART station. Of course, Saturday night in the city brings out all the really drunk men and women looking for love, and the bus was packed with them...mainly desperate thirty-something's. But I got them downtown without a problem. Met E. and R. downtown and we travelled back here together, so that was nice.
Today I walked with E. and R. to Burmese Star,a place I've been dying to eat at, and it was well worth the wait. It was very delicious. After R. went home E. and I went for a scooter ride, and it was freezing. Went through a bit of a ritzy part of town that I hadn't seen before.
It was really nice and fun to catch up with T. last night. We had a lot of laughs.
I'm needing to get in touch with some people about playing here in April.

8:07 AM
It's sunny and cold.
I'll be heading off to teach shortly.
I'm pretty tired, having trouble waking up.

11:52 PM
Non-stop moving today!!!! Update tomorrow.

2:00 PM
Finally have a fully functioning kitchen again. Turns out one of the breakers died.....but it's fixed. Amazing how stressful not having a kitchen can be!

8:26 PM
Pretty un-eventful day.

11:21 PM
Watched "Revenge is my Destiny" and now I have on "The Crippled Masters".

9:29 AM
It's overcast. looking like it's going to rain.
Been horny the past few nights/mornings....that's good.

4:12 PM
It's raining and hasn't really stopped. I was downtown, got a Thai lunch invite from Ploo, and it was delicious. I ordered Duck Curry....Yum!!! It's a great restaraunt, very hip.
Going to get some more work done...

11:22 PM
Half of the kitchen is dead! I hate electricity crap.

9:28 AM
Partly cloudy and a bit warm. Wish it was colder.
I conked out last night.

11:01 PM
Pretty regular day. I think I'm off to the bathtub to read "Citie of the Red Night".

8:00 AM
It's raining.
Looking forward to hitting up SFMOMA.

9:17 AM
Bumba thought it'd be funny to puke on my art supplies, mainly the paint box and a couple of paint tubes. Very funny Bumba.

11:08 PM
I had quite a day. Got to go to SFMOMA and meet Mr. D. We had a great time, the Joseph Cornell show was amazing, the other shows were a trip, we walked around the city, and then I met up with Brad and his friend Heather, who was very sweet. We chatted for a few hours then they left. It wasn't quite such a simple day but I'm too tired to get into too much writing.

9:44 AM
Grey and breezy.
My ear is ringing off the hook.
Thinking, do I want to get my blood test today? Not really. I feel like there is a cold coming on. I do need to go down there and get my insulin. And I need to pick up my Fast-pass.

1:28 PM
After running around, getting insulin, coffee, and my fast-pass, I came home and finished "Nero" and I quite like it. It does look different from most of my other paintings, if not all of them. It's rare for me to be this loose with the paint, but it was fun and I think I'd like to do this type of painting again soon. A new series is already swirling in my brain inspired by the book "Flesh Inferno:Atrocities of Torquemada and the Spanish Inquisition" which arrived a couple of days ago. I shouldn't start that series until the new year, however. I have too many unfinished paintings waiting to go. Must......keep...........working!

3:02 PM
I hate holiday's. I have too many people feeling obligated to invite me to their get togethers. Here's how I look at it; if people didn't want to hang out with me on regular days why would they feel like they need to see me for lame holidays? Example...when I lived in small town USA, just a few blocks from my family, I still only saw them on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that was basically it. Now I'm hearing that I have to go back there and spend at least three days, three days in a town I never felt welcomed in anyway. Also, a friend is visitng California and wants to come to SF. This is a person that is a vegan and once told me that he didn't think he could be my friend because I'm not a vegan! Why would I be excited to have a visit when I'm told that type of thing? Holiday's always remind me of some bitterness that I'm carrying around. If my compant isn't desired any other day of the year, then fuck it....I don't need to be included in silly holiday shit.
Hhmmm, weird...I'm getting angry, kind of out of the blue...

4:33 PM
Been working on a painting I'm thinking of calling "Sealing Up the Dead Memories", or something thereabout. Getting close to being finished.

10:33 PM
Didn't get to go to the gym, but it's okay.
SFMOMA tomorrow. I'm excited.
Started another new painting...looks like a Picasso.

10:00 AM
Just woke up!
It's grey and windy.
I'm really horny....

2:51 PM
House cleaning day.
Pretty excited...Bob O. has invited me to a new year's party. I must go, but I can't drink too much; have to be up early the next morning to go see Sifu.

9:09 PM
Mmmmmmm, dark chocloate. Too much of it? Maybe.

11:12 PM
Just watched "Tin Man" on SciFi, and I surprisingly liked it. The evil witch was hot!
Ugh, I need to write better entries...these are so boring.

8:09 AM
I'm up and really out of it.
Sun is up too.
Running my class in two and a half hours.

10:42 PM
Just finished watching "Curse of the Golden Flower" and I loved it. So many heaving Asian bosoms...love it.
I need to write more but I just haven't had a chance.

8:47 AM
Sunny again.
I'm enjoying my coffee. I had a hard time waking up.

9:26 AM
Just reading this makes me feel crappy...

"1: The worst food in America
Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing
2,900 calories
182 g fat
240 g carbs
Even if you split these "starters" with three friends, you'll have downed a dinner's worth of calories before your entrée arrives.

Super Substitutions Front-load your meal with a protein-based dish that's not deep-fried. A high-protein starter helps diminish hunger without putting you into calorie overload. And remember: Appetizers are meant to be shared.

At On the Border: Chicken Soft Tacos (250 calories each). This entrée is as close as you'll come to a healthy starter.
At Chili's: Garlic & Lime Grilled Shrimp. Look for this item in the "sides."
At Outback: Seared Ahi or Shrimp on the Barbie."

5:54 PM
Ended up in Pacifica today. Ploo rented a car for the weekend and wanted to go try it out. So we just were cruising around and ended up there. It's a very beautiful little town. It was also very cold.

6:31 PM
I hate this doorbell!!!

8:14 AM
The sun is shining and there is kitty puke on the floor. Judging by how it's spread I'd say that Bumba did it, but I don't know for sure.

4:38 PM
Busy working on "Nero"...

11:03 PM
Not a big writing day.

9:18 AM
It is sunny and warm this morning. I hope it stays this way.

12:00 PM
I want a digital camera. That's all I can say.

1:30 PM
GOOD GOD!!!!!!
"Colostomy reversal botched, suit says
Dover man claims disfigurement from mistake
By ESTEBAN PARRA, The News Journal
Posted Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A surgery meant to reverse a colostomy on a Dover man went horribly wrong last year, resulting in fecal mater being discharged from his penis and urine passing through his colon, according to a lawsuit filed in Superior Court.

During the procedure, the suit alleges doctors at Kent General Hospital improperly stapled the colon to the bladder instead of the rectal stump. This left the patient with diarrhea, as well as gas and liquid stool passing from his penis."

11:01 PM
Had a good class tonight. Anthony, Anela, and Pierre were all back, Sandra was able to make it...had a good time. I'm getting a lot of students and that makes me happy.
I've had my fill of this stomach ache!

9:04 AM
Diffused sunlight.
I'm hungry for a traditional greasy breakfast, but I never have that type of thing in the apartment. But damn, that sounds good.

12:22 PM
Most of my clean laundry is put away. Yay for clean clothes.

6:14 PM
Pretty un-eventful day. Couldn't even bring myself to paint. Did work on jaw harp stuff and think about some sound poetry.

11:47 PM
Made a tasty fish dinner, had a quick gym evening, and now getting ready to crash. Reading Aleister Crowley and Phil HIne.

8:29 AM
It is another gorgeous morning.
It looks like I'm finally going to do laundry. It's amazing how long I can go before decideing to finally do it. That's a terrible habit.
The painting I was working on last night, in my fairly dark living room, looks really good in bright light. I'm pleased with it so far.

11:19 AM
Part of my youth has died....
"Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow died Sunday, drummer Frankie Banali confirmed in a post on his Web site. DuBrow was 52 years old and the official cause of his death has yet to be determined.

"I can't even find words to say," Banali wrote. "Please respect my privacy as I mourn the passing and honor the memory of my dearest friend Kevin DuBrow."

DuBrow's body was discovered on Sunday inside the rocker's Las Vegas home. According to those close to the singer, DuBrow celebrated his birthday last month in New Orleans and seemed to be in good health. Quiet Riot bassist Kelly Garni has asked fans to be patient for details on the singer's death.

"I ask this to all of you not only for myself but for other friends and family," Garni wrote, in a message posted to a Web site honoring the memory of Quiet Riot founding member Randy Rhoads. "I ask that no one here offer any speculation or opinions, theories or other things that could be construed as negative or, and I'm sorry for this, even sympathetic, right at this immediate time. I am already, within hours of this, having to deal with untrue rumors and speculation and that only adds fuel to that. There is a tendency for the subject of Kevin to incite flames on every board, and now is not the time for that. I will explain to everyone here the facts and the truth in the next 24 to 48 hours as I realize this will affect us all. So please, until then, be patient. All details and other pertinent info will be passed on to you here when it becomes available to me.'"

12:23 PM
Just finished the painting now known as "The Fugitive of Del Fuego"...that silly little title just popped in my head at random several days ago. Working title was "The Surgeon's Gluttony", a title to be used in the very near future.

Took in the laundry, all 47.26 lbs. of it!!! I can imagine that the laundry folks are laughing at me...but they may also be pretty annoyed. It does feel good to get all of that out of the closet...some of it has been waiting for a very long time. That's the stuff that I rarely wear. I'm also getting rid of some things that I just don't like anymore, some socks that are in bad shape, etc. Cleaning up. I swear I'm going to vacuum soon.

4:35 PM
Did a lot more painitng. Ended up finishing another one. Then I cleaned my room and took a nap. Feeling very refreshed.

5:14 PM
Vacuumed and e-mailed Shannon. Aahhh, accomplishment!

11:04 PM
Made a tasty pasta dinner and then hit the gym. An overall satisfying day.

8:26 AM
It's sunny with some high thin clouds. It's very pretty.

I just woke up from a long and detailed dream where I spontaneously got up and went to India. Unfortunately I'm not remembering too much right now, just vague impressions, but it was pretty amazing. Towards the end of it I was even saying to myself how excited and proud I am for going, something I'd probably never do in reality. But it's weird that I won't considering I've wanted to go there my entire life.
I do remember that I was there with an Indian friend, a friend that doesn't exist during awake time, and something happened to him at the end. I saw him from a distance go around the corner of a street and when I got there I couldn't find him. It was in a very hot and dirty area....I mean literally, it was a dirt road, landscape, etc...around the corner of this street anyway, the street was normal. There were a bunch of places where people had set up, not booths, just stuff strewn on the ground that they were selling. I couldn't find my friend so I called him on the cel and he sounded like he was crying and telling me to go home, which I didn't want to. Then I woke up shortly thereafter.
If I remember more I have to be sure to write it down.

11:20 PM
Spent some time at the Stonestown Galleria which was okay. Usually I'm very uncomfortable in malls, but not today. That may be a good sign.

Reading a new Georges Bataille book, "The Absence of Myth: Writings on Surrealism" that I'm really enjoying.

Working on my new painting in a very rapid way, getting sloppy with it, etc. I rarely get this loose with what I'm working on, so this feels pretty good.

8:09 AM
Sunny
I'm out of it...need my coffee.

5:43 PM
Busy all day...

9:14 AM
Sunny.
I don't know what is up but Dr. Loo will not quit "doing the scratch"...she was obsessed with it yesterday and she's going crazy with it again today. She's such an odd little cat.
I have a slight sore throat.
Do I dare to go out on "Black Friday"?

12:04 PM
Had a flash of inspiration that required the purchase of a new canvas. The working title is "Malpertuis", after the movie that I watched last night. It's meant to be painted fast and kind of violently, trying to use intensity to discover what's inside of it. So far there have been some pleasant surprises.

9:04 PM
I haven't had that great of a day. Starting my new painting seems to be about the best part of it.

9:06 AM
Another sunny morning.
I was up late with beer and a movie, spending some quality alone time. I didn't get drunk but my metabolism acts weird when I drink...it feels like I would have been trashed. I'm not hungover or dizzy or anything, I just have the "morning after" feeling. I used to drink a lot and feel fine...now I just don't know.
It's Thanksgiving but I'm home all day.

12:03 PM
Took a very long relaxing break in the bathtub reading William Burroughs.......

4:52 PM
Bored.

10:59 PM
Watched "Malpertuis"....it's pretty weird and I really liked it.

8:37 AM
It's a gorgeous morning.
Happy T-day e-mail from Hal McGee, a person I always enjoy hearing from.
I seem to have had some disturbing dreams but I barely remember.

1:37 PM
It is a stunning day here in SF. Went for a scooty ride, had lunch at Subway, looked around at Ross....then I go teach in an hour and a half.

7:24 AM
It's sunny, and I'm unexpectedly awake. I needed to pee and then I got all excited to be awake.

9:33 AM
I'm having a really mixed day already. It is gorgeous, I'm excited to get some things done, I'm frustrated because I'm not getting paid today, I don't want to get on a train for the holiday, I desperately need to clean my room.........blah.
Having money in the bank is a pretty nice thing; I can treat myself to lunch, buy some toys, whatever. I guess that I rejected it for so long that I never allowed it to come in, and now that I enjoy it it just isn't coming in the extent that I'd like.

I have the song from "Kabrastan" on repeat.

3:01 PM
I've opted to stay home for T-giving. The timing is all off, so I'll be here. But it's okay.

I have huge piles of laundry waiting to be done...do I want to do them today?

I bought grocery store sushi for lunch...it was okay but now I'm getting heartburn. But I get heartburn all the time...

5:26 PM
I put a bunch of dirt and paint on a canvas. Got some good texture. It's a very abstract one.

9:31 PM
Quick workout, wasn't really feeling it. My heartburn never really went away. So I'm feeling shitty.

9:06 AM
Overcast greyness.
I have a stomach ache.

2:11 PM
Well, it looked like we were going to be able to go to SFMOMA, but it didn't work out. I swear, we'll all go soon.
I've managed to start two new paintings, one of which has already gotten pretty far, the other is just paint scrapes.
Read some inspiring passages in "Liber Null".

3:55 PM
Murchunga came today. It's slightly more difficult to play...the arms are a bit close together and the tongue keeps hitting them, but I'll get it going properly.

5:10 PM
I've been practising off and on and I think I'm getting to sound good, keeping it from hitting the arms. It has a nice sound.
I don't know if I want to go to the gym this week or not. I may just take a break.

6:28 PM
The hanging lamp in the living room, which has five bulbs is now down to one...how does that happen?

10:16 PM
Spent the night reading through various books; martial arts, magick, etc. I'm glad I decided on staying home.

9:44 AM
Another grey morning. I just made tasty pomegranate tea.

5:05 PM
Running around town all day.

7:47 AM
It's foggy.
I woke up from a dream about my old friend CS...had a dream that she killed herself. I haven't spoken to her in years and I'd like to find her.
I go teach in a couple of hours.

11:38 PM
Watched "Caligula"......ha!

9:20 AM
Foggy.
I'm not feeling too good right now. I was hoping to hit SFMOMA with Mr. D today. We'll see how I feel later.

6:05 PM
Ocean Beach is closed, apparently because of the oil spill. But I think it's getting cleared out.

8:08 AM
It's sunny and warm again. You'd never know that it's Thanksgiving season.

10:23 AM
I swear, all I want to do is lounge on the beach...it feels like summer but it's comfortable. I just love this...

Been working a bit on "Caligula". It's turning out completely different from what I had originally imagined.

11:33 PM
Went to a great Thai restaurant with Ploo this afternoon and then we farted around Chinatown. I had a very good day.
Had a quick workout at the gym.
The sun and heat literally disappeared in a matter of moments. I was on-line, went into my room to find something which took all of two minutes, came back out and it was grey and foggy and cold.

9:07 AM
It's a very sunny and warm morning.
I have a bit of a stomach ache but it feels better than yesterday.

11:00 AM
I had a bowl of cereal and now I'm not feeling well. I need to remember that cereal usually bugs my stomach. I was hoping to get started on some things before I go teach but I feel like I just want to relax.

2:20 PM
Well, no painting but plenty of Jaw Harp playing, so that has been fun. I've been using my new brass harp and it just sounds fantastic. I'm thinking seriously about getting a Chinese "Three Leaf" harp...those have an amazing sound.

10:35 PM
I have six new kids to teach this week. That is a very good number. and tonight the adult class had eight participants, ahich is about the best the adult class has been. I'm also hearing that other places want to hire me on to teach. Wow!

Watched "Guimba the Tyrant" from Africa, which was very enjoyable. I will need to watch it again as I had trouble following some of the characters. Now I'm waiting to watch "Caligula" which arrived today also.

7:35 AM
It's a "gold" morning, sort of.
I'm going to go get my eyes checked shortly. I wonder if I'm going to end up with glasses?

10:45 AM
I'm a bit blinded...my pupils were dilated. I'll need to continue this later.

11:51 AM
Here's something funny from Daily Rotten:

"Nov 13 1805
Johann Georg Lehner invents the hot dog. At long last a use for all those hog penises, lips, intestines, and ears."

Gross!!!!

4:40 PM
Getting psyched up to go to a silly YMCA meeting. They're always so boring and, well, silly. But I get paid to be there so I guess that is good.
My eye appointment this morning was a bit of an adventure. While nervously waiting for the bus a developmentally disabled man, that I see cussing people out, came around the corner, saw me, started to yell "Logan", and then said "Logan, I'm going to beat your ass right now"....it kind of frightened me. I never know how to react in that situation which happens more often than you'd imagine. Then I got out to the doctors office and went in to get my exam. I got the eyedrops that dilate your pupils, and that was weird. Then I was lead into a dark room and he complimented my hoodie, which was nice, especially as I thought he wouldn't be very nice. Then we chatted about art, turns out he's a photographer, and he put my head in this machine that basically was a camera flash shooting into my dilated pupil....fortunately I have no damage from diabetes. Then the bus ride home was interesting. There was one of the city's schizo folk on there who repeated, over and over, "When I was 16 I had a Rolls Royce, when I was a pimp! I had three prostitutes when I was 16 I had a Rolls Royce, God's taking care of me, when I was 16..." very loudly. I think he even hit the seat at one point. Don't know what he did after I got off but while I was on there he didn't get threatening with anyone. Just a bit intimidating. But it was interesting.

10:07 PM
What an odd day. I'm done with the meeting which was kind of boring. Bus rides at night make me dizzy. I'm not tired yet. Going to go out to dinner in a minute.
Listening to G.G. Allin.

9:14 AM
It's a bit grey but the sun is pushing through.

3:00 PM
It seemed like I would never get my day started but I've managed to begin painting "Caligula" and it has completely surprised me. I've applied the paint rapidly and it's doing some odd things that I fell in love with. So I'll be keeping that.

5:02 AM
I'm up really early. I woke up once from a dream about a ghost in the bathroom, a dream that scared me. Not screaming in terror scared, but made me more uneasy. Then I woke up again needing to pee. So now I'm up blogging. But it's alright, I'll probably crawl back into bed in an hour.
I wonder why there's a ghost in the bathroom in my head.......

5:20 AM
A few minutes ago, Dr. Loo and Bumba, the two most inept hunters on Earth, were trying to catch a moth that was flittering around the lamp. I'm sure it outsmarted them...
I'm getting tired. I think it will be back to bed time sooner than I anticipated.

9:44 AM
I'm up for the second time. It is sunny and warm.

10:43 AM
More of the little bugs that were born a few weeks ago are being born today! And there's a hungry litle bird eating some. There is such a cool little eco-system in the backyard. My pictures that I took of the bugs unfortunately didn't turn out, so that was disappointing.

10:13 PM
Watching the news about the oil spill here in the bay. What a horrible thing to happen...a lot of closed beaches, hundreds of dead birds, who knows how much sea life.....it's ridiculous.

I went to Lark in the Morning and purchased two new jaw harps, a bamboo one from Thailand that doesn't really sound to good, and a bronze Vietnamese one, that makes the best sound out of all the ones I own. I think that will be my travelling one, especially since it is carried in a bamboo tube. LITM is in a very touristy part of town and it can get very annoying there. I had a late lunch/early dinner out there which was a little too expensive, but, what're you going to do? I had calimari rings and french fries, just some appetizers.

I'm listening to an old JZ "filmworks" CD that I heard for the first time in Arcata when Tapes vs. Ten was going to play there. I was very nervous for that show, but it was pretty successful. I'd like to return one day...much to my surprise I really loved it there and the people that I was able to hang out with were so nice. None of the hippy stuff I had been lead to believe would be assaulting me from all sides. It will be strange to go without W and M, but it'd be alright.

I managed to go out to Golden Gate park and feed the ducks. All of my favorites were out there, none of which I know what the breeds are. The aggressive black ones with the sharp white beaks(one of them came and took a piece of bread out of my hand), the shy ones with the small beak and yellow stripe on their heads that make a shy little "peep" sound, the black ones with orange eyes.....I love the ducks.

8:09 AM
San Francisco weather is always changing, day to day. It's grey this morning.
I'm sneezing a lot, just out of the blue.
Getting ready to go teach...I always look forward to Saturday classes.

4:49 PM
The rain is coming down. I was running around town and managed to get drenched.
The beginners kids class had 18 students in it...that's an awful lot of little folks. But it turned out to be a pretty good workout day.
There is a possibility of "Pizza Orgasmica" tonight, but I'm not sure if I want to go...I want to dry off and warm up.
"The Films of Kenneth Anger pt. 2" arrived. It looks promising.

6:42 PM
So, we've all decided to take a literal rain chck on tonight, which is just fine. I'm cold and still barely dry, so I'd rather stay in.

10:21 PM
Well, the evening ended up being pretty enjoyable after all. I watched the Kenneth Anger films, which I loved, and then watched "Space is the Place", another terrific flick. So, you can't really beat nights like tonight.
Right now I'm relaxing with some Debussy piano music.

8:15 AM
It is sunny and nice. It was supposed to rain.
Woke up from funny dreams about some of my heroes, Homer Simpson singing Poison, etc. Weird.

5:50 PM
Ploo treated me to a very fun lunch, a Japanese barbecue. We get to stick our food on the grill ourselves, the grill in the middle of the table. I will have to go back and take some folks with me.
Tomorrow night I'm hoping to have a bit of a business meeting with some folks that I'd like to take on the RML mini-tour. It's a good day.

9:43 PM
Just finished watching a good game between the Sharks and the Ducks...Ducks won! So I'm in a good mood. The game had to go into a shootout, which I've never seen. It's been an excellent day. Giguere is still my main man.
Wish I'd seen them win the Stanley Cup last year.

10:43 PM
I'm trying to read about Caligula, the subject of an upcoming painting, but the writing isn't all that great. I think it's a translation of an old account of his life, but some accounts of old are pretty good. I'm just having trouble with this one. I did order the Caligula three disc DVD set....pretty excited for that.

8:52 AM
Wintery morning.
A couple of my plants really are upset. I think one of the ones that Betty gave me is dying, and the one that I trimmed a few days ago isn't too happy. I hate not knowing what to do for them.

My root canal, which I've had for over a year, feels odd...it's a little swollen.

11:28 AM
What a lazy morning. I just can't bring myself to get ready for anything. I'd much rather sit around in my PJ's and play on-line. But what good would that do?

1:54 PM
Painting and "e-playing".
Just got off the phone with AC...he's wondering if I want to 'shroom this weekend! Uh, no. That is something I've never done and considering that alcohol messes with my metabolism too much I can only imagine what that would do. For the record, I don't like chemcals in my system all that much. I like to drink once in a while, I love coffee, but that's it. I even try to avoid aspirin. I have to take insulin or I'll die. I don't like to get drunk anymore, I lose too much time trying to recover.
I used to teach this kid martial arts, now he's asking me to 'shroom! By golly.

3:22 PM
It looks like there is a good chance that there will be a RML show in Southern California. So I think turning it into a mini-tour, SoCal then AZ, could be good. Just one problem...how in the hell will we be able to afford this?

4:55 PM
So after a few hours of painting, e-mailing about a possible mini-tour, etc. I'm finally winding down. I feel like I've accomplished a hell of a lot today, so it is a great day. Now what do I want to do? I'd like to read or watch a movie but either has the potential to put me to sleep. Maybe I need a nap?

6:54 PM
Damn, I made a tasty curry dinner. I used curry "vindaloo".

10:15 PM
Over the course of the day I've been reading "Konx om Pax", which is a bizarre little book, and "Cosmic Trigger pt.2" which is very inspiring.
It feels like I need to eat some more, like my blood sugar is getting low. I guess I need to go test it, as it may not be low at all.

10:31 AM
Couldn't get to the comp. It's grey.
I'm listening to "Electric Eel" by Makigami Koichi, an absolute classic.

12:24 PM
Oh heartburn, I can always rely on you to be around. You've been my guest for years;now if you'd only realize that you're overstaying your welcome....
I am getting very tired of it. Blah.

Continuing to work on my two new paintings. Not too much else today. I go teach at 3:00.

1:00 PM
It's turning into a good day. Got a friendly e-mail from Bob O. and the Jews Harp Guild has asked to use one of my paintings, the "Drunk Jaw Harp Player" in their newsletter. So all that is pretty cool!

10:15 PM
A tanker ran into the Bay Bridge this morning, and there is oil on some beaches as a result. That is very disappointing. More environmental problems, eh?
E-mail from Laura C. who I haven't heard from in some time.
Tonight in class I had the women getting rough. It was very good, doing a lot of stick work, lighting a fire under them.

8:07 AM
Grey.
The house across the backyard is never going to be finished.

9:12 AM
I've been knocked down this morning, just a little bit. A new friend, that I really liked, has, suddenly, decided not to like me. I sensed it the other night at the JZ show; she started to act stand-offish, and then asked me to leave. I've no idea what I may have done but it doesn't really matter. I am sad about it. Nothing I can do....

3:19 PM
I'm feeling very vulnerable about being rejected by somebody that I thought would be a great friend.

I started two new paintings, a large square one with scraped paint, and a small one with thick paint knifed on. Yesterday I found a cheap book about Antoni Tapies, so it looks like his influence is already coming out. We'll see where that one goes.

7:45 PM
My stomach and sides are suddenly in a lot of pain. I can't tell what this is. I swear that my health is going to get better someday.

9:19 PM
Despite complaining about not feeling well just a short time ago, I had a surprisingly good night at the gym. Less reps and more weight tonight. So I'm feeling good now. Gotta get ready to go have dinner, and then one of the few TV shows I watch; "Dirty Jobs" with Mike Rowe, a San Franciscan I might add.

7:52 AM
It's foggy and wintery. It looks nice.
I have a croissant for breakfast.
My headache isn't so bad, but my ear is really stuffed up.

9:34 AM
This journal appears to be me taking a microscopic view of my life. It seems simple and boring, but if it is it's because I'm not looking at things through the right lens. Look closely at small things, and learn to appreciate them before desiring the bigger things.

My ear isn't feeling too bad at the moment. It's still cold and foggy.

11:54 AM
Here is a comment someone left me:
"Divine madness!! What a delight to follow you here. Your skillful distortions amplify character and emotion through the subject. Your work often manages to be passionate, serious, and totally hillarious at the same time. I also appreciate your obvious relationship to art as personal process. It seems to me that some of the depth of your work comes from this genuine toil in the garden of self. It must be wonderful to have these works filling an actual space.

Thanks for sharing your gifts with us.

Thank you as well for keeping an eye on me. I'm delighted to have caught your interest."

I would be lying if I said I didn't like comments such as these. A person works a lot, puts there stuff out into the world, and then often hears nothing. This makes it all seem worth it.

4:16 PM
It is grey and cold on my side of town, sunny and windy downtown. Took E her lunch and it was gorgeous out there but still kind of cold. The bus that I rode out there was funny; the further one got to the back the dirtier and more graffitid it became, but it was very gradual.
Now I'm getting ready to heat up a pizza and get some painting done...at least that's the plan.

9:50 PM
Finished my painting, the one with the scrapings and bluish-green surrounding it. A title is needed.
It's really cold here.

10:07 PM
A Q&A with Lex:
Her question:
"when i paint, or before i start painting i'm always blank, i can never think of what to start painting and i just start throwing different colors on the canvas and then decide i've fucked it up so i stop. then i think of something to draw and i start all over. well friend my paintings aren't that great, yours, yours are. so i guess what my question is, is how do you know what to paint, or why do you paint the things you do?"

My answer:
i often will start that way, just pushing paint around randomly. then i'll let it sit there for a couple of days, couple of weeks, and see if it's hinting at a direction it wants to go. when i do art like that i look at myself as more of a medium holding a seance rather than an omnipotent creator. a lot of artists have done that. i think it takes a long time to get to that point, at least for a lot of people. it did for me. i'd say keep working at it, let it change as it goes, because it has a life of its own and will want to grow and change. even after you sign it and it hangs on someone elses wall it will continue to change because different viewers will get dofferent things out of it.
why i paint what i do all depends...some things i do are there to help me understand a situation, a problem, etc. others are meant to change the world outside of my skin, just like a spell.
others i don't understand until years down the road..as of today i feel i understand why i painted the "five dead men" series....in 1998!!!!
so experiment and play and don't take it too seriously. this is one of the few places that you can screw up and it doesn't matter. in fact, maybe try to love your screw ups and look for the wisdom/creativity in them.

10:45 PM
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23419627-details/Toddler+with+eight+limbs+branded+'reincarnation+of+Hindu+god'+to+undergo+life-saving+operation/article.do

8:01 AM
Sunny here in SF.
So, today is clock setting day. I thought I was getting up a bit late, but I'm not.
Woke up from some horny dreams.

5:58 PM
I spent a relaxing day at the beach, over by Crissy Field. I enjoy looking at peoples dogs.
Went looking for new shoes but couldn't fund any that I really liked. So I'll go elsewhere soon.
Not too much else happening here. Bought some paint and a larger canvas. It feels nice to get my brain back to normal.

10:21 PM
I'm in the very beginning stages of setting up an RML show in Arizona. The great Mr. Dorgon has expressed interest in participating, which would be great. The wonderful fetish photographer Joi Carey wiould be our host. I feel that this is very exciting.

8:15 AM
It's a sunny morning.
I've had a pounding headache for nearly 24 hours now. Not sure where that is coming from.
The show was fantastic! The musicianship is phenomenal, Mike Patton is an inspired madman....excellent. I was backstage at one point and got to chat with John Zorn for a moment who was, as expected, unbelievably nice. So overall it was a great experience. They did start the show 45 mintes late but I have a sneaky feeling that that was a strategic move...or maybe I'm just being silly.

8:41 PM
My wonderful friend Vega visited today! She came and worked out in my class, then from there we went to Green Apple, then Pizza Orgasmica, then Amoeba. I always have a great time with her. She bought an MST3K dvd, and we laughed....a lot.

11:46 PM
I bought "Mount Analogue" and my RML t-shirt arrived this afternoon.

9:22 AM
It's a misty morning.
I'm not feeling all that great. I may have drank a bit too much wine lasy night. I'm not hung-over, just a little dehydrated and tired. But I needed to relax; I'm nervous about tonight. I'm going to go see John Zorn's "Moonchild".

12:54 PM
I'm getting very nervous to go out tonight. I keep watching "Uncle Goddamn" to make me laugh and get rid of anxiety, and it's doing the job. I'm really looking forward to tonight being over.

4:47 PM
I'm getting nervous.....

9:13 AM
I'm up and it's cold. I slept very well, which is no surprise. I was very tired.

11:22 PM
Not in a writing mood.

7:59 AM
I'm up early. Starting my coffee. It looks like it'll be grey, but it's not cold, at least in here.

8:37 AM
Jusy heard on the radio that there is a cemetery in California that has been invaded by turkeys!!! Okay, it IS the apocalypse!!! Oh yeah, and it's my favorite hoiday today:Halloween. Not that I do anything, I just like the day, enjoy watching kids go trick-or-treat. Speaking of which, I might go out tonight with some of the MA kids. That could be fun. They're allowed to workout in their costumes tonight.

10:11 AM
Getting ready to head out to SFMOMA. I'm feeling very nervous, something about this week. Things can go in several directions, things that I have no desire to discuss at the moment. But I am very shaky. It could also be the fact that I'm having a new Trader Joe's coffee called "Double Dark". But, who knows...

9:29 PM
I had an amazing day, but I'm too tired to write. Write about it tomorrow.

9:12 AM
It's cold and grey.
I had one hell of a time crawling out of my cozy bed.

11:00 AM
Good lord, it's tough to get motivated to do anything.

11:19 AM
Something is wrong. It feels like I'm getting sad, but I have no idea why.

5:32 PM
I just finished watching "Uncle Goddamn" and I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Tears were pouring out of my eyes. But I feel partially sad that I laughed so much. I have trouble believing that I'm of the same species as these people. It has made me want to be a better person.

8:10 PM
We just had a very big earthquake. It seemed to go on forever.

10:56 PM
Poor California, between the fires and earthquakes...maybe it is the apocalypse!
SFMOMA tomorrow....

8:54 AM
It's a grey morning, supposed to rain.
There are construction workers on the roof next door.
Will I end up doing laundry today?

9:11 AM
Aahhh, I just love that first shot of morning caffeine! I'm feeling so much better.
So, here I am, a 32 year old man, and I'm getting another huge zit, on the side of my nose, by my eye. It gets very annoying to get such large ones everytime I get a bit of stress.

10:57 AM
So where in the hell are the left over RML sampler cd's? I'm supposed to send some off. Digging through my closet is going to be a joke. Oh the humanity!

11:42 AM
Started, very unexpectedly, a new painting that is demanding to be called "An Emotional Fossil". I suspect that it's about my recent return to optimism, feeling in control, etc. A lot of my negativity seems to be dead and buried, but it is a reminder that it is always there, even if in fossil form. I don't want to be so naive and think that I'll never go through a depression again, because I know I will. But I have been feeling very good lately. Besides, I believe that negativity and depression are necessary transitional periods. It's a shallow belief to think that we should always be happy. But wallowing in misery isn't good either...it's just a change.

1:09 PM
And just like that, "An Emotional Fossil" has gone in a different direction, one completely unexpected or hinted at in the beginning. It always amazes me how my paintings have a life all of their own, but I do encourage that. Much like someone like Rauschenberg I prefer to be a medium instead of some super-genius, controlling artist. Not that all artists who prefer control are jerks, or even geniuses, whatever a genius is. I don't think that I really believe in the genius cult.
On a lighter note, I can't stop listening to "Our Lips are Sealed" by The Go-Go's! Ahem.....My hardcore, avant-garde buddies would be so ashamed of me!

3:16 PM
Working on "The Magician", the second of the "Major Arcana" series.
Writing e-mails.....

4:36 PM
DA is not letting me upload any art. I have no idea why. I don't think it's being done on purpose, something just isn't functioning. So I can't put the cover of "My Brain" on-line. Blah.
I am having a very good day. I'm anticipating a unique week.

6:19 PM
All this week will be "The Simpsons- Treehouse of Horror"! Yay for Halloween shows. Those are always the best.

10:58 PM
Made a pasta dinner, with vodka sauce. Unfortunately I wasn't too crazy about it...the sauce was too runny, at least to me.
Went and, finally, did some laundry, but I got all embarassed while I was in there; the moment I step in the door there are two cute college girls, and one is painting her toenails. That does it for me, I think watching that is completely sexy. But I really was embarassed, so much so that I didn't want to walk by them for fear of getting caught staring at her feet.Oh, the drama of an unrepentant foot-fetishist!!!!

8:23 AM
Or is it 7:23 AM?????
The computer says 8:23, the living room clock, which automatically sets itself, says 7:23. I didn't realize that we had to re-set our clocks.

11:00 AM
So, today is not clock re-setting day, the living room timepiece was just programmed to change on this date automatically. Got it....mystery solved.
Re-arranged a tiny bit. Put an old plant in the window, which required me to move the entire shelf that it sits on. Got a CD rack out of the window and put it in the plants old home. I've been wanting to move the CDs for some time. So now I'm happy.
Kitty toilet cleaning today. The excitement never ends with me.

1:47 PM
Trying to psych myself up to go to the Serj(?) show, which I really don't want to. Why don't people ask before they get me a ticket?

5:15 PM
It looks like burritos from Gordo's tonight, my favorite. Yum.

9:17 PM
The Red Sox won the World Series. I'm not a huge baseball fan but the last inning was pretty exciting.
On a more sombre note it appears that the worlds bee population is disappearing. What could this be symbolic of? Maybe it is the apocalypse. I'll more than likely have more to say about this in the future, not that my humble opinions would be true, or any sort of answer, it's just a symptom of how my brain functions.
No concert tonight! Thank goodness. I'm hoping to see John Zorn do "Moonchild" next weekend. That is a show I have no desire to miss.

8:17 AM
Odd sky. Grey and orange.
Getting ready to go teach, but I'm not supposed to today. My group has to be off site for the day, but there is too much legal stuff with that, too much liability, so I'm not supposed to do anything with them. SO it looks like I might have to go out there and send everyone home. My group has been missing too much. I think that I need to go independent, rather than be hired by such a weird group as YMCA.

It's possible that I'll be heading to SFMOMA with Bea Kwan, someone I know on-line. We've never met in person.

5:24 PM
Well, my group all met at Betty's and we didn't work out. Instead the kids ran around, I blew bubbles with some of them, then a few of us went out to lunch. Betty gave me some very nice plants, something that she has been planning on doing for some time.

7:50 PM
I'm making the concious decision to never be an expert on anything. So many experts continually arguing as to who is the "most expert" seems like a very silly passtime.

8:21 AM
Grey morning. Will it stay this way? Just heard on the radio that it will be clearing up.
I slept good but I'm groggy.

10:55 AM
Spent the morning reading the Disinfo book, the book of interviews. As always the subject matter is wonderful.
Right now Dr. Loo appears to be upset with me because I won't let her drink the shower water. I cleaned it up a bit in there so I don't want her drinking that.
Dr. Loo yesterday, scowling at me....

I'm sorry little girl, for whatever I did.

It smells like fall. I love it.

6:59 PM
Had lunch in Japantown. Waiting to see if there is anything going on tonight.
I'm becoming very fascinated with Paul Laffoley. His mental process is something else.

12:29 AM Saturday
Watched "Seytan" and "Mystics in Bali". Fantastic films!
Goodnight.

8:50 AM
It's a grey morning.

10:34 AM
Reading and writing e-mails all morning. I haven't even cleaned up yet. It's nice to have folks around that I can communicate with.

12:31 PM
Lunch at the sushi boat. The cute Japanese waitress said "Special calendar, just for you" and gave me one. So I feel special.

3:08 PM
This happy guy lives in my window....no idea where the tenant is.






5:35 PM
Spent some time at the bookstore, bought some canvases. Not too exciting. Put some new stuff on-line.
The sun has come out but it's cold.

8:22 PM
Just got in from a dinner of Vietnamese soup. Nice and full. Off to the gym?

10:45 PM
This was written to me on DA in regards to RML.....

"OMG!! thats so exciting! my gosh youre gonna go far baby! and very gladd of it! cause you seem like such a nice guy and modest and extremely talented... you have evrything going on for you.. just wait and see"

Thank you for the sweet words. I need as much encouragement as I can get. I'm still filled with so much doubt about getting it going. But i'll keep chugging away, slowly but surely.

9:02 AM
It's another sunny, warm morning.
The California fires are still going wild; hearing about it on the radio. I sent a text to Ashley last night, but she hasn't repilied. Hopefully she's okay and the fires haven't reached her home.

9:47 AM
Drinking an odd concoction of coffees; the remainder of my "Hawaiian Hazlenut" and the beginning of the "East African Burundi" that I got at Trader Joe's. So far it's pretty tasty. I don't know if the Burundi was a good buy or not, and I won't know until tomorrow, but judging by how much better it made the Hazlenut I would guess that it will be good. But that's just a guess.

I'm on limited time today so I think I want to get some work done. I need to get pictures of "The Stick" to put on-line. I also have to reply to an e-mail from Sherrie.
I should rephraes that; I'm on limited art time today. "Limited time" implies that there is a conflict of interest between what I want to do and what I'm being forced to do. Everything that I do today is what I want to do, I just have to be away from the easel for a few hours so I can go teach. And I love teaching.

11:01 AM
From an e-mail to Sherrie:
"The beauty of what I'm doing is that I do as much, or as little, haggling as I want to. I'm inherently too shy, too mellow, and very jealous of my freedom to get too involved in the career side of all this. So many people try to tell me that I should push my stuff harder, make more money, etc. but I don't really care to. I've never set out to be well known, let alone famous, or rich, or even liked. I like what I do, I have a few followers.....I'm quite happy.
Plus, another benefit is that I get to control my own image. No one trying to sell me as something I'm not.
I'm certainly not going to stop producing if I'm unknown. I don't need the consensus of the public to justify why I do what I do.
Don't get me wrong, more shows would be nice, but I'm not interested enough in getting out there aggressively and begging people to justify me so I can say that I've exhibited in their establishment. I'd rather organize "art barbecues" at the park...things like that sound far more rewarding and real."

12:09 PM
Okay, for some reason iPhoto is acting wacky so I'm unable to get new pics on-line. So now what?

1:10 PM
Finished reading "No Way Out-Conversations with U.G. Krishnamurti". It is very excellent. I like to consider him the "evil" Krishnamurti, even though, of course, he wasn't, just a very cynical, funny man. In the last three years the philosophy of J. Krishnamurti has become important and influential on my worldview, and U.G. fits right in, albeit in a much more extreme manner.
I believe that many people have had what could be called "mystical experiences". Now, what those might be is anyones guess, whether it's brain chemicals, actual communication from something higher, a combination of the two, or who can say. For most it seems that this is a positive experience. But, if the Taoists and Physicists are right then everything has a positive and negative. I believe that U.G. had a negative mystical experience. Something happened to him and it colored his worldview. He's not the first person I've read about having that, Alberto Giacometti seems to have experienced something similar. You don't seem to hear about these as much as the more "graceful" experiences.

9:07 PM
My stomach is very full of Japanese food. Very, very full.

12:30 AM
I finished the book "The Voice Imitator". It's very interesting. Every page is a different story, one of which is only one sentence. I just realized that I need to re-start "Alphabetical Africa", a very avant-garde little book in the style of the Oulipo. But not this late at night. Now I just want to read the backs of my eyelids.
7:37 AM
I'm awake, surprisingly. My coffee is brewing. Nothing like that first cup.
SoCal is burning and i'm worried about some of my on-line friends. It sounds like it's moving closer to them.
From K-Chan's blog:
"Go to an uncovered parking lot and wipe your finger across a car. See the ash? Draw a picture! Cough and wheeze. Look up and watch the sun burn red through the clouds. Cough some more. Great times to be had in sunny So Cal!

So California is on fire, essentially. From Santa Barbara down to the border, we're burning up.

Lots of sore throats and dry coughs and nosebleeds today. And evacuations! Halo is trapped in El Segundo because he can't get back home to Lake Arrowhead (because there's a big fire there too.)

In fact, there is a big fire EVERYWHERE.

California wildfires at a glance
BY THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Major wildfires in California:

Buckweed Fire: 27,500 acres in northeastern Los Angeles County south of Agua Dulce. Twenty percent contained. Approximately 15,000 people and 5,500 homes evacuated. Twenty-five structures and two bridges destroyed. Three people injured. Nine hundred homes without power.

Canyon Fire: 2,400 acres in coastal community of Malibu. Out of control. About 200 homes evacuated. Five homes destroyed as well as two commercial buildings, including a church. Ten homes damaged. No injuries reported.

Harris Fire: 20,000 acres about 70 miles southeast of San Diego north of the border town of Tecate. Five percent contained. Unknown number of homes destroyed. One civilian killed, 15 people injured, including four firefighters.

Witch Fire: 10,000 acres in northern San Diego County between Ramona and Santa Ysabel. Five percent contained. Unknown number of homes destroyed. No reports of injuries.

Grass Valley Fire: More than 300 acres in Grass Valley area west and northwest of Lake Arrowhead in San Bernardino Mountains. At least 113 structures destroyed and several communities evacuated.

Slide Fire: More than 300 acres in Green Valley Lake area of San Bernardino Mountains. At least 15 structures destroyed and several communities evacuated.

Santiago Fire: 15,000 acres in Orange County east of Irvine. Thirty percent contained. No homes destroyed. Four minor injuries to firefighters.

Ranch Fire: 29,000 acres near Piru in Ventura County. Ten percent contained. About 200 people evacuated. One homes destroyed and no injuries reported.

Sedgewick Fire: 710 acres near Los Olivos in Santa Barbara County. Fifty percent contained. No evacuations. No homes destroyed and no reports of injuries. "

I'll be thinking about all of you.

8:06 AM
The sun is rising higher and it looks like it is going to be another sunny, gorgeous day.

8:28 AM
Practised "Karenza", which led to some stick improvisation. Wanting to develop the habit of practicing daily, starting in the morning and then intermittently throughout the day.

11:56 AM
Just got off the phone with Ashley in SoCal, the first time I've ever spoken to her, and she's telling me that they've been ordered to evacuate. Frightening! That's not exactly the first conversation I was hoping to have with her.

4:08 PM
It's very hot here in SF!

6:01 PM
Finished "The Stick", after struggling to get motivated all day.
My allergies are bugging me. I wonder if it has to do with the fires in California?
Definitely need to hit the gym this evening.

9:11 AM
Sunny morning.
I had a very gross dream just a few hours ago. A man that I know, who reminded me of Max Ernst, but it wasn't, had the corpses of his parents kept in grape jelly. The corpses were sandwich size and already in bread, but the jelly had solidified. He decided to cut it open and get the bodies out, and eat them. So he's cutting out these nasty, rotten skeletons with rancid skin still attached. I'm watching putrid fluids get all over his hands and I'm telling him that it's not going to be a good thing for him to do that, even though I appreciate the fact that he wants too...even in my dreams I can appreciate subversive behavior! He doesn't listen to what I'm saying, puts the mini-skeletons on some bread with lettuce, mayo, and some of the remaining jelly, and takes a big bite. In my mind I'm imagining how it must taste, the crunch of the mini-skulls, etc. It isn't long before he spits it out and runs to the bathroom to puke. My stomach is still churning from that dream.
10:45 AM
Taking pictures of more paintings to put on-line and I notice something catch Bumba's eye in the window. Turns out to be a big bug, I think a "stink bug". Since I've no idea what those things do I tried to shoo it out the window, fearing that it could bite the cats. It didn't co-opoerate, went behind the couch, and I may have killed it while it was back there. I don't like to do that but I also want to protect the cats.
12:40 PM
Started on a new painting inspired by the film "The Stick". I've long benn enamoured by Africa and I've done several paintings inspired by it. This is a continuation of that interest.
An old friend has permitted me to view her blog.
3:21 PM
The outline of the "ghosts" on my new painting is ready. After covering the canvas is several different techniques I've found the general shape of the main focus. This is a bit of an odd one for me; it's more experimental than I've been in some time. I even went so far as to apply paint with dental floss.
6:10 PM
"Kittieflowers" has reached its destination, safe and sound. Now it has a new home with a great keeper.
The final of my orders has arrived here. "Malpertuis" tonight?
It is time to clean up and think about starting dinner.

10:39 PM
Way out of balance with the blood-sugar this evening. Too low then too high, so I'm not feeling all that great at the moment. Spent the day running around downtown, mainly in the Mission district. It was sunny and warm. Got a hair cut today. It's short.

5:39 PM
It's a lovely day. Pub tonight?
7:07 PM
Yes, pub tonight.

9:39 AM
Groggy this morning. I woke up at approximately 4:39 AM with my blood sugar dropping fast, so I had to get up and eat. So I don't feel too hot at the moment. It's overcast.
Last night I watched an incredible movie called "The Stick", a war/horror hybrid from South Africa. It was very creepy and packed with emotion. It's worth watching again. I really enjoy war movies but I tend not to buy them. I think I'm still under the spell of certain former moralising friends who think anything that smacks of "manhood" is bad. This is an attitude that I must crawl out from under. I don't believe that war or violence is good. But I don't think a world where everyone is blissed out and at peace is possible, or even desirable. I think the most vile kind of conflict comes from morals, politics, we're right and they're wrong attitudes. That is why I don't get involved in such things. But I'm not so naive to believe that anyone else has that attitude.
To get back to what I was saying, there is nothing wrong with "maleness", as long as it's not used as a tool to keep others down. The same can be said of any belief that one clings to and tries to mold the rest of the world by. It's a cliche, but a hammer can be used to create a house, or break a skull. Does that mean all hammers should be illegal, taken out of our hands, etc., "just in case""? Oddly, there are some people that would say yes.
Listening to Debussy piano works.
11:40 AM
What the hell is wrong with Hotmail? I can't delete, I can't send.....making me mad! Maybe I'll need to switch to the Gmail account. Would Hotmail even care?
I have to sit around and wait for the organic vegetable delivery. If no one picks it up they call either me or E. freaking out. Just leave the box!
Bumba decided that it was time to throw up, but at least she hopped off the couch. She's such a good kitty.
12:29 PM
Re-arranging bookshelves-an exercise in futility!
6:13
The books are still not re-arranged! Okay, I haven't been working on them the entire day but it looks like it'll never end! Currently listening to "In Every Dream Home a Heartache".
10:48 PM
Done. Had to move another case into the hallway,but, oh well. It works.
Finally watched "Hardcore" after waiting for ten years. I liked it; the eye watering '70s fashions, the sleaze, etc. Good times.
I teach in the morning.

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A note from England

Here is something that a new friend wrote to me today. I quite like it and don't want to forget his kindness, not to mention deep philosophical knowledge.....



I am glad I met you too, Jimmy. You're a great guy, and you're knowledgeable on a lot of subjects. Not only that, but you have a certain charm that sort of shines through what you write, and, in particular, through your artworks -- which I interpret as being your own interpretation of the world [for I have great difficulties in believing that one ever painted a picture outside of what his interpretations of it were]. It is my belief that someone whose logic is distorted lives in an exceedingly interesting universe. Art is, I think, the distortion of logic; or, perhaps better, an interpretation of logic; for as I said, art is for me an interpretation of the world. Hegel said that logic is the same thing as metaphysics; metaphysics deals with the big questions, like why are we here, does anything, or everything, or nothing, exist, that sort o'thing. [link] is a link to discovering more. I think that art is the same thing as metaphysics. That is my interpretation of it. Metaphysics to Hegel was best expressed in logic, and to me, metaphysics is art. I have myself arrived at THIS conclusion, after I read, and believed, the work of Schopenhauer, a tiny fraction of which said that art is the only way that we are capable of understanding the world.

So, as I was saying: yes. Your logic, or your metaphysics, or, indeed, your art, are extraordinarily interesting. You, Sir, are one of the few people, I believe, who perceive the world as it really is. One might say immediately that your images are not realistic, but to me, in the sense that they are filled with a great deal many of emotions, they are perhaps key to understanding the world. I think that you can take pride in yourself, my dear Jimmy, that you are one of a relatively rare few who are and have ever been capable of interpreting the world as a thing-in-itself. [Paradoxically, you manage to achieve this through your OWN interpretations; I am aware of this.]

If we do indeed kick it in person, I'm buying you a beer. And we can talk about art. Or bullshit. Or both. Or anything else. You, Sir, are what we in England call "a legend".

I am completely in shock at the moment; after years of searching, with no success, I have stumbled across one of my best friends from years ago, who just happened to have his collages on Deviantart, and was on a friends friend list. I recognized one of his collages from 1993!!!! I still own several of his collages from fourteen years ago. Unbelievable!

The last several days ended up being very enjoyable and very effective at recharging my batteries. Saturdy, after the classes, I went running around downtown with Betty, Ploo, and Nick and Kalvin came along for the ride. We went shopping downtown and had a blast. They are a couple of very fun girls. Unfortunately I didn't have my shot, so my blood sugar, by the time I got home, was 581, far too high.
Yesterday I picked Emma up at the airport. I managed BART all by myself with no mishaps. Yay for small miracles. Last time I went the wrong way.
Went downtown today. Someone on MUNI smelled like nasty, cheesy garlic, or at least was eating something with that combo. If those things don't smell like pee it's something else.
Thursday I met my new doctor. She is very nice but I was a little embarassed. I had to wear a silly hospital vest, which I didn't do last time, and then at one point she had me drop my pants a bit and had to feel me up. I haven't had that in a very long time. But I enjoyed the visit.
Friday night I started, and finished, a new painting that I'm calling "The Voice Imitator". It was done in twenty minutes, which is odd. I never have something in my mind come out so quickly.
It's a grey, rainy day here in the city. What do I want to do?

After days and days of hot, sunny weather the sky has clouded over and is pouring down rain. It's actually very nice. It's raining hard. Hopefully I got a couple of good pics. Using an old school camera; one with film! So I have to wait to see how they turned out.
Had a movie buying fit last night. Came home with five DVD's: "Big Trouble in Little China", "Curse of the Golden FLower", "Fearless" with Jet Li, "Mighty Joe Young", and the original "King Kong". Had a bit of the spenders guilt, but that goes away quickly. Drank a little too much wine and watched BTiLC with commentary by Kurt Russell and John Carpenter. Those are a couple of funny guys.
Prepping "Kittieflowers" for it's journey across the country.

Pull dee Strink

I just witnessed something amazing; hundreds of dragonflies just hatched in my backyard. Pics, hopefully, coming soon...

Tigerbalm

Had a dentist appointment today. Glad to say that my teeth and gums are doing much better. Even the dentist was pleased. Can't beat that.
Not much else. New e-friends, but that's about all.
Watching "Dirty Jobs".

Coelacanth

Had a great time a a B-day party for two of my students. Spent a lot of time doing sticks with Ploo. The Blue Angels were doing tricks and that was kind of cool. Had a nice day.
Last night E. and I went out to dinner for her B-day. We went to http://www.karamanduka.com . I've never had Peruvian food before but it was delicious, and it's a very cute place to eat. The Sangria was fantastic.
Friday's boat ride ended up being very nice. I spent most of the time alone drinking beer and relaxing. The bay is gorgeous.
FINALLY, art tomorrow!
Outside my window...



My Cactus...

Melody for C

Here's to show my negativity and cynicism....and lack of interest in doing things; I have the opportunity today to go on a boat ride, on an old three masted boat. And I DO NOT want to go. I have no interest in being around people, drinking, partying it up, etc. I find it all to be so boring and a waste of time.
I used to kind of like doing things...

Krishnamurti

"When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind."

Penguin

Revelation: On days where I trap myself inside I'm completely uninspired to work. I need to go out early, do something.Yesterday I had a flash of inspiration on the bus to paint "Figures in a Landscape"...started and finished in just a couple of hours. What should I do for my mornings?

Ichthyasaurus

Frantically rushed to work this morning; it seems that i forgot to sign my timesheet. My last supervisor would have signed it for me. Oh well.
Met the yoga teacher. Her feet are incredibly sexy.
Hopped on the 9X to go have lunch with Ploo. Never been on that bus before. Now I know how to get downtown from Palega.
Gym tonight?

Kandinsky

"The artist seeks material rewards for his skill, his powers of invention and observation. His aim becomes the satisfaction of his own ambition and greed. Instead of a close collaboration among artists there is a scramble for these rewards. There are complaints about competition and overproduction. Hatred, bias, factions, jealousy, and intrigue are the consequences of this purposeless, materialist art."
1912

Auto

Saturday is finally long gone. Sifu came for my test, and after spending the day on the verge of collapse from nervousness I was happy to have it underway.Sifu and Christopher pretty much took over, which was great; took the pressure off of me. He certified me as a fourth degree. It was very nice to see him and catch up. He seemed to have a good time and my group liked him. Afterword a couple of us went to Gaspare's to have pizza and relax.
Over the course of Saturday I managed, thanks to being nervous,to grow a large zit on the left side of my face. I actually felt it coming. It's still there, under my skin, so I'm nice and swollen. 32 years old and I STILL get zits.
Started "Frozen Landscape" last week but I'm really uninspired to work on it, or anything else.

Stoop

Had a nice time last night. Seven guests showed up...expected more, but it's no big deal. Thinking that I don't like to do pizza and beer anymore. Feeling kinda crummy and dehydrated. Not hung over, just "too much pizza" feeling. Next time go for something healthier.
Woke up far too early with bile draining into my mouth. When I don't digest properly I tend to throw up a bit in my sleep, and wake up with it in my lungs. Pretty scary. But I'm getting to the point where I taste it before I inhale it, so the taste wakes me up first. Gross, huh?

Hang-Ups

A thought; Rompaida Media Lab should host monthly "Salons", have a lot of art making going on, talking, listening to music, etc. Even though I'd like to have a lot of artistically experienced people I think it could be even more fun if people who have never done it before come in. Easy to take them to unique places...no preconceived notions to break through. Eventually I'd like to put on group exhibits for this group, somewhere. It's hard to find places to show. I could always just have art parties, bust out the old art barbecue idea, etc. Don't let a lack of places to show be discouraging!
I had 16 kids in the beginning MA class.

Fripp

RG: Do you find that one of the major barriers is overcoming that pretense of, "Oh, well this is arty, this is gallery music"?

RF: Yes, that's one of the reasons why I'm playing in record shops, pizza houses, canteens and all the rest of it. We have this notion that art is something that should be locked up in museums and made available to adults of consenting age, preferably in daylight hours. That's the implication. So, presenting Frippertronics in an informal, off-the-cuff situation, just human to human, is a question of re-invigorating "Ah-rt"; an aphorism which popped up from yesterday. Art is the capaity to re-experience one's innocence. Ooh, that was a nice phrase.

Alley

This is where I used to live in the central valley during the summer wildfires.