Friday, November 30, 2007

8:47 AM
Sunny again.
I'm enjoying my coffee. I had a hard time waking up.

9:26 AM
Just reading this makes me feel crappy...

"1: The worst food in America
Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing
2,900 calories
182 g fat
240 g carbs
Even if you split these "starters" with three friends, you'll have downed a dinner's worth of calories before your entrée arrives.

Super Substitutions Front-load your meal with a protein-based dish that's not deep-fried. A high-protein starter helps diminish hunger without putting you into calorie overload. And remember: Appetizers are meant to be shared.

At On the Border: Chicken Soft Tacos (250 calories each). This entrée is as close as you'll come to a healthy starter.
At Chili's: Garlic & Lime Grilled Shrimp. Look for this item in the "sides."
At Outback: Seared Ahi or Shrimp on the Barbie."

5:54 PM
Ended up in Pacifica today. Ploo rented a car for the weekend and wanted to go try it out. So we just were cruising around and ended up there. It's a very beautiful little town. It was also very cold.

6:31 PM
I hate this doorbell!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

8:14 AM
The sun is shining and there is kitty puke on the floor. Judging by how it's spread I'd say that Bumba did it, but I don't know for sure.

4:38 PM
Busy working on "Nero"...

11:03 PM
Not a big writing day.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

9:18 AM
It is sunny and warm this morning. I hope it stays this way.

12:00 PM
I want a digital camera. That's all I can say.

1:30 PM
GOOD GOD!!!!!!
"Colostomy reversal botched, suit says
Dover man claims disfigurement from mistake
By ESTEBAN PARRA, The News Journal
Posted Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A surgery meant to reverse a colostomy on a Dover man went horribly wrong last year, resulting in fecal mater being discharged from his penis and urine passing through his colon, according to a lawsuit filed in Superior Court.

During the procedure, the suit alleges doctors at Kent General Hospital improperly stapled the colon to the bladder instead of the rectal stump. This left the patient with diarrhea, as well as gas and liquid stool passing from his penis."

11:01 PM
Had a good class tonight. Anthony, Anela, and Pierre were all back, Sandra was able to make it...had a good time. I'm getting a lot of students and that makes me happy.
I've had my fill of this stomach ache!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

9:04 AM
Diffused sunlight.
I'm hungry for a traditional greasy breakfast, but I never have that type of thing in the apartment. But damn, that sounds good.

12:22 PM
Most of my clean laundry is put away. Yay for clean clothes.

6:14 PM
Pretty un-eventful day. Couldn't even bring myself to paint. Did work on jaw harp stuff and think about some sound poetry.

11:47 PM
Made a tasty fish dinner, had a quick gym evening, and now getting ready to crash. Reading Aleister Crowley and Phil HIne.

Monday, November 26, 2007

8:29 AM
It is another gorgeous morning.
It looks like I'm finally going to do laundry. It's amazing how long I can go before decideing to finally do it. That's a terrible habit.
The painting I was working on last night, in my fairly dark living room, looks really good in bright light. I'm pleased with it so far.

11:19 AM
Part of my youth has died....
"Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow died Sunday, drummer Frankie Banali confirmed in a post on his Web site. DuBrow was 52 years old and the official cause of his death has yet to be determined.

"I can't even find words to say," Banali wrote. "Please respect my privacy as I mourn the passing and honor the memory of my dearest friend Kevin DuBrow."

DuBrow's body was discovered on Sunday inside the rocker's Las Vegas home. According to those close to the singer, DuBrow celebrated his birthday last month in New Orleans and seemed to be in good health. Quiet Riot bassist Kelly Garni has asked fans to be patient for details on the singer's death.

"I ask this to all of you not only for myself but for other friends and family," Garni wrote, in a message posted to a Web site honoring the memory of Quiet Riot founding member Randy Rhoads. "I ask that no one here offer any speculation or opinions, theories or other things that could be construed as negative or, and I'm sorry for this, even sympathetic, right at this immediate time. I am already, within hours of this, having to deal with untrue rumors and speculation and that only adds fuel to that. There is a tendency for the subject of Kevin to incite flames on every board, and now is not the time for that. I will explain to everyone here the facts and the truth in the next 24 to 48 hours as I realize this will affect us all. So please, until then, be patient. All details and other pertinent info will be passed on to you here when it becomes available to me.'"

12:23 PM
Just finished the painting now known as "The Fugitive of Del Fuego"...that silly little title just popped in my head at random several days ago. Working title was "The Surgeon's Gluttony", a title to be used in the very near future.

Took in the laundry, all 47.26 lbs. of it!!! I can imagine that the laundry folks are laughing at me...but they may also be pretty annoyed. It does feel good to get all of that out of the closet...some of it has been waiting for a very long time. That's the stuff that I rarely wear. I'm also getting rid of some things that I just don't like anymore, some socks that are in bad shape, etc. Cleaning up. I swear I'm going to vacuum soon.

4:35 PM
Did a lot more painitng. Ended up finishing another one. Then I cleaned my room and took a nap. Feeling very refreshed.

5:14 PM
Vacuumed and e-mailed Shannon. Aahhh, accomplishment!

11:04 PM
Made a tasty pasta dinner and then hit the gym. An overall satisfying day.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

8:26 AM
It's sunny with some high thin clouds. It's very pretty.

I just woke up from a long and detailed dream where I spontaneously got up and went to India. Unfortunately I'm not remembering too much right now, just vague impressions, but it was pretty amazing. Towards the end of it I was even saying to myself how excited and proud I am for going, something I'd probably never do in reality. But it's weird that I won't considering I've wanted to go there my entire life.
I do remember that I was there with an Indian friend, a friend that doesn't exist during awake time, and something happened to him at the end. I saw him from a distance go around the corner of a street and when I got there I couldn't find him. It was in a very hot and dirty area....I mean literally, it was a dirt road, landscape, etc...around the corner of this street anyway, the street was normal. There were a bunch of places where people had set up, not booths, just stuff strewn on the ground that they were selling. I couldn't find my friend so I called him on the cel and he sounded like he was crying and telling me to go home, which I didn't want to. Then I woke up shortly thereafter.
If I remember more I have to be sure to write it down.

11:20 PM
Spent some time at the Stonestown Galleria which was okay. Usually I'm very uncomfortable in malls, but not today. That may be a good sign.

Reading a new Georges Bataille book, "The Absence of Myth: Writings on Surrealism" that I'm really enjoying.

Working on my new painting in a very rapid way, getting sloppy with it, etc. I rarely get this loose with what I'm working on, so this feels pretty good.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

8:09 AM
Sunny
I'm out of it...need my coffee.

5:43 PM
Busy all day...

Friday, November 23, 2007

9:14 AM
Sunny.
I don't know what is up but Dr. Loo will not quit "doing the scratch"...she was obsessed with it yesterday and she's going crazy with it again today. She's such an odd little cat.
I have a slight sore throat.
Do I dare to go out on "Black Friday"?

12:04 PM
Had a flash of inspiration that required the purchase of a new canvas. The working title is "Malpertuis", after the movie that I watched last night. It's meant to be painted fast and kind of violently, trying to use intensity to discover what's inside of it. So far there have been some pleasant surprises.

9:04 PM
I haven't had that great of a day. Starting my new painting seems to be about the best part of it.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

9:06 AM
Another sunny morning.
I was up late with beer and a movie, spending some quality alone time. I didn't get drunk but my metabolism acts weird when I drink...it feels like I would have been trashed. I'm not hungover or dizzy or anything, I just have the "morning after" feeling. I used to drink a lot and feel fine...now I just don't know.
It's Thanksgiving but I'm home all day.

12:03 PM
Took a very long relaxing break in the bathtub reading William Burroughs.......

4:52 PM
Bored.

10:59 PM
Watched "Malpertuis"....it's pretty weird and I really liked it.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

8:37 AM
It's a gorgeous morning.
Happy T-day e-mail from Hal McGee, a person I always enjoy hearing from.
I seem to have had some disturbing dreams but I barely remember.

1:37 PM
It is a stunning day here in SF. Went for a scooty ride, had lunch at Subway, looked around at Ross....then I go teach in an hour and a half.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

7:24 AM
It's sunny, and I'm unexpectedly awake. I needed to pee and then I got all excited to be awake.

9:33 AM
I'm having a really mixed day already. It is gorgeous, I'm excited to get some things done, I'm frustrated because I'm not getting paid today, I don't want to get on a train for the holiday, I desperately need to clean my room.........blah.
Having money in the bank is a pretty nice thing; I can treat myself to lunch, buy some toys, whatever. I guess that I rejected it for so long that I never allowed it to come in, and now that I enjoy it it just isn't coming in the extent that I'd like.

I have the song from "Kabrastan" on repeat.

3:01 PM
I've opted to stay home for T-giving. The timing is all off, so I'll be here. But it's okay.

I have huge piles of laundry waiting to be done...do I want to do them today?

I bought grocery store sushi for lunch...it was okay but now I'm getting heartburn. But I get heartburn all the time...

5:26 PM
I put a bunch of dirt and paint on a canvas. Got some good texture. It's a very abstract one.

9:31 PM
Quick workout, wasn't really feeling it. My heartburn never really went away. So I'm feeling shitty.

Monday, November 19, 2007

9:06 AM
Overcast greyness.
I have a stomach ache.

2:11 PM
Well, it looked like we were going to be able to go to SFMOMA, but it didn't work out. I swear, we'll all go soon.
I've managed to start two new paintings, one of which has already gotten pretty far, the other is just paint scrapes.
Read some inspiring passages in "Liber Null".

3:55 PM
Murchunga came today. It's slightly more difficult to play...the arms are a bit close together and the tongue keeps hitting them, but I'll get it going properly.

5:10 PM
I've been practising off and on and I think I'm getting to sound good, keeping it from hitting the arms. It has a nice sound.
I don't know if I want to go to the gym this week or not. I may just take a break.

6:28 PM
The hanging lamp in the living room, which has five bulbs is now down to one...how does that happen?

10:16 PM
Spent the night reading through various books; martial arts, magick, etc. I'm glad I decided on staying home.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

9:44 AM
Another grey morning. I just made tasty pomegranate tea.

5:05 PM
Running around town all day.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

7:47 AM
It's foggy.
I woke up from a dream about my old friend CS...had a dream that she killed herself. I haven't spoken to her in years and I'd like to find her.
I go teach in a couple of hours.

11:38 PM
Watched "Caligula"......ha!

Friday, November 16, 2007

9:20 AM
Foggy.
I'm not feeling too good right now. I was hoping to hit SFMOMA with Mr. D today. We'll see how I feel later.

6:05 PM
Ocean Beach is closed, apparently because of the oil spill. But I think it's getting cleared out.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

8:08 AM
It's sunny and warm again. You'd never know that it's Thanksgiving season.

10:23 AM
I swear, all I want to do is lounge on the beach...it feels like summer but it's comfortable. I just love this...

Been working a bit on "Caligula". It's turning out completely different from what I had originally imagined.

11:33 PM
Went to a great Thai restaurant with Ploo this afternoon and then we farted around Chinatown. I had a very good day.
Had a quick workout at the gym.
The sun and heat literally disappeared in a matter of moments. I was on-line, went into my room to find something which took all of two minutes, came back out and it was grey and foggy and cold.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

9:07 AM
It's a very sunny and warm morning.
I have a bit of a stomach ache but it feels better than yesterday.

11:00 AM
I had a bowl of cereal and now I'm not feeling well. I need to remember that cereal usually bugs my stomach. I was hoping to get started on some things before I go teach but I feel like I just want to relax.

2:20 PM
Well, no painting but plenty of Jaw Harp playing, so that has been fun. I've been using my new brass harp and it just sounds fantastic. I'm thinking seriously about getting a Chinese "Three Leaf" harp...those have an amazing sound.

10:35 PM
I have six new kids to teach this week. That is a very good number. and tonight the adult class had eight participants, ahich is about the best the adult class has been. I'm also hearing that other places want to hire me on to teach. Wow!

Watched "Guimba the Tyrant" from Africa, which was very enjoyable. I will need to watch it again as I had trouble following some of the characters. Now I'm waiting to watch "Caligula" which arrived today also.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

7:35 AM
It's a "gold" morning, sort of.
I'm going to go get my eyes checked shortly. I wonder if I'm going to end up with glasses?

10:45 AM
I'm a bit blinded...my pupils were dilated. I'll need to continue this later.

11:51 AM
Here's something funny from Daily Rotten:

"Nov 13 1805
Johann Georg Lehner invents the hot dog. At long last a use for all those hog penises, lips, intestines, and ears."

Gross!!!!

4:40 PM
Getting psyched up to go to a silly YMCA meeting. They're always so boring and, well, silly. But I get paid to be there so I guess that is good.
My eye appointment this morning was a bit of an adventure. While nervously waiting for the bus a developmentally disabled man, that I see cussing people out, came around the corner, saw me, started to yell "Logan", and then said "Logan, I'm going to beat your ass right now"....it kind of frightened me. I never know how to react in that situation which happens more often than you'd imagine. Then I got out to the doctors office and went in to get my exam. I got the eyedrops that dilate your pupils, and that was weird. Then I was lead into a dark room and he complimented my hoodie, which was nice, especially as I thought he wouldn't be very nice. Then we chatted about art, turns out he's a photographer, and he put my head in this machine that basically was a camera flash shooting into my dilated pupil....fortunately I have no damage from diabetes. Then the bus ride home was interesting. There was one of the city's schizo folk on there who repeated, over and over, "When I was 16 I had a Rolls Royce, when I was a pimp! I had three prostitutes when I was 16 I had a Rolls Royce, God's taking care of me, when I was 16..." very loudly. I think he even hit the seat at one point. Don't know what he did after I got off but while I was on there he didn't get threatening with anyone. Just a bit intimidating. But it was interesting.

10:07 PM
What an odd day. I'm done with the meeting which was kind of boring. Bus rides at night make me dizzy. I'm not tired yet. Going to go out to dinner in a minute.
Listening to G.G. Allin.

Monday, November 12, 2007

9:14 AM
It's a bit grey but the sun is pushing through.

3:00 PM
It seemed like I would never get my day started but I've managed to begin painting "Caligula" and it has completely surprised me. I've applied the paint rapidly and it's doing some odd things that I fell in love with. So I'll be keeping that.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

5:02 AM
I'm up really early. I woke up once from a dream about a ghost in the bathroom, a dream that scared me. Not screaming in terror scared, but made me more uneasy. Then I woke up again needing to pee. So now I'm up blogging. But it's alright, I'll probably crawl back into bed in an hour.
I wonder why there's a ghost in the bathroom in my head.......

5:20 AM
A few minutes ago, Dr. Loo and Bumba, the two most inept hunters on Earth, were trying to catch a moth that was flittering around the lamp. I'm sure it outsmarted them...
I'm getting tired. I think it will be back to bed time sooner than I anticipated.

9:44 AM
I'm up for the second time. It is sunny and warm.

10:43 AM
More of the little bugs that were born a few weeks ago are being born today! And there's a hungry litle bird eating some. There is such a cool little eco-system in the backyard. My pictures that I took of the bugs unfortunately didn't turn out, so that was disappointing.

10:13 PM
Watching the news about the oil spill here in the bay. What a horrible thing to happen...a lot of closed beaches, hundreds of dead birds, who knows how much sea life.....it's ridiculous.

I went to Lark in the Morning and purchased two new jaw harps, a bamboo one from Thailand that doesn't really sound to good, and a bronze Vietnamese one, that makes the best sound out of all the ones I own. I think that will be my travelling one, especially since it is carried in a bamboo tube. LITM is in a very touristy part of town and it can get very annoying there. I had a late lunch/early dinner out there which was a little too expensive, but, what're you going to do? I had calimari rings and french fries, just some appetizers.

I'm listening to an old JZ "filmworks" CD that I heard for the first time in Arcata when Tapes vs. Ten was going to play there. I was very nervous for that show, but it was pretty successful. I'd like to return one day...much to my surprise I really loved it there and the people that I was able to hang out with were so nice. None of the hippy stuff I had been lead to believe would be assaulting me from all sides. It will be strange to go without W and M, but it'd be alright.

I managed to go out to Golden Gate park and feed the ducks. All of my favorites were out there, none of which I know what the breeds are. The aggressive black ones with the sharp white beaks(one of them came and took a piece of bread out of my hand), the shy ones with the small beak and yellow stripe on their heads that make a shy little "peep" sound, the black ones with orange eyes.....I love the ducks.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

8:09 AM
San Francisco weather is always changing, day to day. It's grey this morning.
I'm sneezing a lot, just out of the blue.
Getting ready to go teach...I always look forward to Saturday classes.

4:49 PM
The rain is coming down. I was running around town and managed to get drenched.
The beginners kids class had 18 students in it...that's an awful lot of little folks. But it turned out to be a pretty good workout day.
There is a possibility of "Pizza Orgasmica" tonight, but I'm not sure if I want to go...I want to dry off and warm up.
"The Films of Kenneth Anger pt. 2" arrived. It looks promising.

6:42 PM
So, we've all decided to take a literal rain chck on tonight, which is just fine. I'm cold and still barely dry, so I'd rather stay in.

10:21 PM
Well, the evening ended up being pretty enjoyable after all. I watched the Kenneth Anger films, which I loved, and then watched "Space is the Place", another terrific flick. So, you can't really beat nights like tonight.
Right now I'm relaxing with some Debussy piano music.

Friday, November 9, 2007

8:15 AM
It is sunny and nice. It was supposed to rain.
Woke up from funny dreams about some of my heroes, Homer Simpson singing Poison, etc. Weird.

5:50 PM
Ploo treated me to a very fun lunch, a Japanese barbecue. We get to stick our food on the grill ourselves, the grill in the middle of the table. I will have to go back and take some folks with me.
Tomorrow night I'm hoping to have a bit of a business meeting with some folks that I'd like to take on the RML mini-tour. It's a good day.

9:43 PM
Just finished watching a good game between the Sharks and the Ducks...Ducks won! So I'm in a good mood. The game had to go into a shootout, which I've never seen. It's been an excellent day. Giguere is still my main man.
Wish I'd seen them win the Stanley Cup last year.

10:43 PM
I'm trying to read about Caligula, the subject of an upcoming painting, but the writing isn't all that great. I think it's a translation of an old account of his life, but some accounts of old are pretty good. I'm just having trouble with this one. I did order the Caligula three disc DVD set....pretty excited for that.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

8:52 AM
Wintery morning.
A couple of my plants really are upset. I think one of the ones that Betty gave me is dying, and the one that I trimmed a few days ago isn't too happy. I hate not knowing what to do for them.

My root canal, which I've had for over a year, feels odd...it's a little swollen.

11:28 AM
What a lazy morning. I just can't bring myself to get ready for anything. I'd much rather sit around in my PJ's and play on-line. But what good would that do?

1:54 PM
Painting and "e-playing".
Just got off the phone with AC...he's wondering if I want to 'shroom this weekend! Uh, no. That is something I've never done and considering that alcohol messes with my metabolism too much I can only imagine what that would do. For the record, I don't like chemcals in my system all that much. I like to drink once in a while, I love coffee, but that's it. I even try to avoid aspirin. I have to take insulin or I'll die. I don't like to get drunk anymore, I lose too much time trying to recover.
I used to teach this kid martial arts, now he's asking me to 'shroom! By golly.

3:22 PM
It looks like there is a good chance that there will be a RML show in Southern California. So I think turning it into a mini-tour, SoCal then AZ, could be good. Just one problem...how in the hell will we be able to afford this?

4:55 PM
So after a few hours of painting, e-mailing about a possible mini-tour, etc. I'm finally winding down. I feel like I've accomplished a hell of a lot today, so it is a great day. Now what do I want to do? I'd like to read or watch a movie but either has the potential to put me to sleep. Maybe I need a nap?

6:54 PM
Damn, I made a tasty curry dinner. I used curry "vindaloo".

10:15 PM
Over the course of the day I've been reading "Konx om Pax", which is a bizarre little book, and "Cosmic Trigger pt.2" which is very inspiring.
It feels like I need to eat some more, like my blood sugar is getting low. I guess I need to go test it, as it may not be low at all.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

10:31 AM
Couldn't get to the comp. It's grey.
I'm listening to "Electric Eel" by Makigami Koichi, an absolute classic.

12:24 PM
Oh heartburn, I can always rely on you to be around. You've been my guest for years;now if you'd only realize that you're overstaying your welcome....
I am getting very tired of it. Blah.

Continuing to work on my two new paintings. Not too much else today. I go teach at 3:00.

1:00 PM
It's turning into a good day. Got a friendly e-mail from Bob O. and the Jews Harp Guild has asked to use one of my paintings, the "Drunk Jaw Harp Player" in their newsletter. So all that is pretty cool!

10:15 PM
A tanker ran into the Bay Bridge this morning, and there is oil on some beaches as a result. That is very disappointing. More environmental problems, eh?
E-mail from Laura C. who I haven't heard from in some time.
Tonight in class I had the women getting rough. It was very good, doing a lot of stick work, lighting a fire under them.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

8:07 AM
Grey.
The house across the backyard is never going to be finished.

9:12 AM
I've been knocked down this morning, just a little bit. A new friend, that I really liked, has, suddenly, decided not to like me. I sensed it the other night at the JZ show; she started to act stand-offish, and then asked me to leave. I've no idea what I may have done but it doesn't really matter. I am sad about it. Nothing I can do....

3:19 PM
I'm feeling very vulnerable about being rejected by somebody that I thought would be a great friend.

I started two new paintings, a large square one with scraped paint, and a small one with thick paint knifed on. Yesterday I found a cheap book about Antoni Tapies, so it looks like his influence is already coming out. We'll see where that one goes.

7:45 PM
My stomach and sides are suddenly in a lot of pain. I can't tell what this is. I swear that my health is going to get better someday.

9:19 PM
Despite complaining about not feeling well just a short time ago, I had a surprisingly good night at the gym. Less reps and more weight tonight. So I'm feeling good now. Gotta get ready to go have dinner, and then one of the few TV shows I watch; "Dirty Jobs" with Mike Rowe, a San Franciscan I might add.

Monday, November 5, 2007

7:52 AM
It's foggy and wintery. It looks nice.
I have a croissant for breakfast.
My headache isn't so bad, but my ear is really stuffed up.

9:34 AM
This journal appears to be me taking a microscopic view of my life. It seems simple and boring, but if it is it's because I'm not looking at things through the right lens. Look closely at small things, and learn to appreciate them before desiring the bigger things.

My ear isn't feeling too bad at the moment. It's still cold and foggy.

11:54 AM
Here is a comment someone left me:
"Divine madness!! What a delight to follow you here. Your skillful distortions amplify character and emotion through the subject. Your work often manages to be passionate, serious, and totally hillarious at the same time. I also appreciate your obvious relationship to art as personal process. It seems to me that some of the depth of your work comes from this genuine toil in the garden of self. It must be wonderful to have these works filling an actual space.

Thanks for sharing your gifts with us.

Thank you as well for keeping an eye on me. I'm delighted to have caught your interest."

I would be lying if I said I didn't like comments such as these. A person works a lot, puts there stuff out into the world, and then often hears nothing. This makes it all seem worth it.

4:16 PM
It is grey and cold on my side of town, sunny and windy downtown. Took E her lunch and it was gorgeous out there but still kind of cold. The bus that I rode out there was funny; the further one got to the back the dirtier and more graffitid it became, but it was very gradual.
Now I'm getting ready to heat up a pizza and get some painting done...at least that's the plan.

9:50 PM
Finished my painting, the one with the scrapings and bluish-green surrounding it. A title is needed.
It's really cold here.

10:07 PM
A Q&A with Lex:
Her question:
"when i paint, or before i start painting i'm always blank, i can never think of what to start painting and i just start throwing different colors on the canvas and then decide i've fucked it up so i stop. then i think of something to draw and i start all over. well friend my paintings aren't that great, yours, yours are. so i guess what my question is, is how do you know what to paint, or why do you paint the things you do?"

My answer:
i often will start that way, just pushing paint around randomly. then i'll let it sit there for a couple of days, couple of weeks, and see if it's hinting at a direction it wants to go. when i do art like that i look at myself as more of a medium holding a seance rather than an omnipotent creator. a lot of artists have done that. i think it takes a long time to get to that point, at least for a lot of people. it did for me. i'd say keep working at it, let it change as it goes, because it has a life of its own and will want to grow and change. even after you sign it and it hangs on someone elses wall it will continue to change because different viewers will get dofferent things out of it.
why i paint what i do all depends...some things i do are there to help me understand a situation, a problem, etc. others are meant to change the world outside of my skin, just like a spell.
others i don't understand until years down the road..as of today i feel i understand why i painted the "five dead men" series....in 1998!!!!
so experiment and play and don't take it too seriously. this is one of the few places that you can screw up and it doesn't matter. in fact, maybe try to love your screw ups and look for the wisdom/creativity in them.

10:45 PM
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23419627-details/Toddler+with+eight+limbs+branded+'reincarnation+of+Hindu+god'+to+undergo+life-saving+operation/article.do

Sunday, November 4, 2007

8:01 AM
Sunny here in SF.
So, today is clock setting day. I thought I was getting up a bit late, but I'm not.
Woke up from some horny dreams.

5:58 PM
I spent a relaxing day at the beach, over by Crissy Field. I enjoy looking at peoples dogs.
Went looking for new shoes but couldn't fund any that I really liked. So I'll go elsewhere soon.
Not too much else happening here. Bought some paint and a larger canvas. It feels nice to get my brain back to normal.

10:21 PM
I'm in the very beginning stages of setting up an RML show in Arizona. The great Mr. Dorgon has expressed interest in participating, which would be great. The wonderful fetish photographer Joi Carey wiould be our host. I feel that this is very exciting.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

8:15 AM
It's a sunny morning.
I've had a pounding headache for nearly 24 hours now. Not sure where that is coming from.
The show was fantastic! The musicianship is phenomenal, Mike Patton is an inspired madman....excellent. I was backstage at one point and got to chat with John Zorn for a moment who was, as expected, unbelievably nice. So overall it was a great experience. They did start the show 45 mintes late but I have a sneaky feeling that that was a strategic move...or maybe I'm just being silly.

8:41 PM
My wonderful friend Vega visited today! She came and worked out in my class, then from there we went to Green Apple, then Pizza Orgasmica, then Amoeba. I always have a great time with her. She bought an MST3K dvd, and we laughed....a lot.

11:46 PM
I bought "Mount Analogue" and my RML t-shirt arrived this afternoon.

Friday, November 2, 2007

9:22 AM
It's a misty morning.
I'm not feeling all that great. I may have drank a bit too much wine lasy night. I'm not hung-over, just a little dehydrated and tired. But I needed to relax; I'm nervous about tonight. I'm going to go see John Zorn's "Moonchild".

12:54 PM
I'm getting very nervous to go out tonight. I keep watching "Uncle Goddamn" to make me laugh and get rid of anxiety, and it's doing the job. I'm really looking forward to tonight being over.

4:47 PM
I'm getting nervous.....

Thursday, November 1, 2007

9:13 AM
I'm up and it's cold. I slept very well, which is no surprise. I was very tired.

11:22 PM
Not in a writing mood.