Satan!!!

6:55 PM
The Nine Satanic Statements
The Nine Satanic Statements outline what "Satan" represents in the Church of Satan.
Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence
Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams
Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit
Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates
Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek
Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires
Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all
Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification
Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years
[edit]The Nine Satanic Sins
Stupidity
Pretentiousness
Solipsism
Self-deceit
Herd Conformity
Lack of Perspective
Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies
Counterproductive Pride
Lack of Aesthetics
[edit]The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them
When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself
Do not harm little children
Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him